The Importance of Breaks

I love my kids. That will never change BUT I would not survive without a break or Mommy's night out. Aside from FB and occasional play dates, you rarely get social interaction with other people your age. After constantly saying "NO!", giving someone food, filling sippy cups, changing diapers, taking someone to the bathroom, stopping fights, picking up crap that will just be messed up with TWO minutes later, and doing the never ending piles of laundry, I can't see who wouldn't want a break. Its nice to have a conversation with another person who won't respond with "why?", "I want.." or some language only God knows.

As soon as you get a boyfriend, you have to work a lot harder with your girl relationships. Its so easy to just block everyone out and think you only need him. Once you're married, you either stay in that mind frame or you are always looking to get out. I know I've brushed off my friends for my husband and I know other people who've done it too. It happens but you still have to make an effort. For military wives, who is going to be there for you when he deploys? Or goes on a TDY? Friendships are super important. They keep you sane. Plus, you have to have someone to vent to when your husband is being stupid anyway ;)

I have come to realize that my kids are beginning to define me. I can't go anywhere without them. I LOVE the break but it can be hard to leave them. I'm not sure if its cause I've gotten so self-conscience or if its because I'm with them 24/7 that its weird not to be with them. One of my past neighbors used to say she thought I was a vampire. I only came out at night when Zach was home for the longest time. I've created my own little world and I don't think that's healthy. You need to get out and have a life outside the home. I'm working on that and I've made more of an effort here then I did on Kadena. It took me about 2 years to make friends in Kadena and I've already made lots of friends here. 

The other important one is date nights. You married your husband, not your kids. That is the most important relationship! You have to make sure you get the one on one time away from the chaos. My husband would die without date nights. Our sitter we finally found here just moved back to NY so we're trying to find another one. We started looking for a sitter before we even moved here. That is a really important part for our relationship. I know lots of people who refuse to leave their kids with anyone and never go on dates. I personally don't understand it but I'm not going to judge. For my marriage though, we need those 2 hours out of the house and by ourselves. I love our alone time.


When we were in Okinawa, me and the girls would go to a nail salon once a month. It was such a nice break. Not only was it good to get out of the house but it was also nice to be pampered. Being in a house surrounded by boys, you need those moments! Yes, you NEED it! You need a break. Even if its just making your husband watching the kids for 5 min so you can take a shower by yourself. Those moments help your sanity. That little break is the boost you need to get through the week. I love it. There are times I'll turn on cartoons, pop popcorn, and zone out to my Ipod. You do what you gotta do. All in all, breaks are important and you definitely deserve them. :)

I love these girls. :)

Mommyhood

I absolutely LOVE being a mom. Most of the time anyway. I would be lying if I said it was all the time. Being a mom is a LOT of stress, very overwhelming, but can also be very rewarding. 

I love being able to be a stay-at-home mom. I do miss working but I love being able to see each stage of my children's life. They grow up way to fast and I don't want to miss out. Sometimes I feel bad for Zach cause he misses out on a lot. Especially by being in the military. Sometimes its hard when I see them do a first and then Zach thinks he's seeing it for the first time when he's not. 

I can't believe Jaidyn is in school now. You'd think it would be a nice break but he's the helpful one! I miss him. I'm worried he'll lose his innocence. He's such a sweetheart and I don't want anyone to change it. So far he's been good in school and is the polite one. I'd rather that then the bully any day :D Makes me proud that my parenting is paying off. He's learning a lot and his teacher is awesome. He counts down till he goes to school everyday. We've never had tears but always lots of excitement.

The good thing about having multiple children is that they always have a friend. Jaidyn and Ryker are stuck together like glue. They're best friends and I love it. Fitting Matteo in the picture has been a little hard but we're hoping for another baby soon so that he'll have a friend closer to his age :D 

I was all excited because we've been done potty training for a few months now but then I remembered I have to do it all over again with Matteo. grr! At least we have a little time before that happens. Potty training was supposed to be Zach's turf with boys and mine with girls. haha Supposed to is the key word there. They're potty trained though so that hurdle is done for a bit. Its annoying whenever we go anywhere though cause we're in the bathroom nearly the whole time. Its like walking into a store is turns on the light bulb that they have to pee. Fun stuff!

The things we have done differently with Matteo are cloth diapering and breastfeeding.  I absolutely love it but I do miss formula feeding sometimes. The bond between Tao and I is amazing but its also annoying. I get "touched out" a lot. He's constantly feeding so I'll get to the point where everyone has to keep their distance. Its hard when the kids wanna be cute and cuddle but I just need my space. I even get that way with Zach. Sometimes I'll pick a fight just so he'll sleep on the couch and I get the bed to myself. I know, I'm horrible. He found out I was doing that though so it doesn't fly anymore. haha I do use a cover when breastfeeding and I'm still not to comfortable doing it in public but we've made it work for us. Zach has been incredibly supportive and I think that's the only reason we've survived this long. When Matteo was almost a month old, I BEGGED Zach to go buy formula and he refused. If he had caved, we would be where we are today. Besides complete lack of sleep, I've had a really hard time losing weight while breastfeeding. I've even tried different diets. You see all the people who it just falls off but not with me. I've gotten to the point where I'm just trying to be healthy and not worry about it. I'm doing this for him and as long as he's happy and healthy, I am good.

I am really into the whole cloth diapering thing now too. We do go back and forth between cloth and disposable sometimes but its mostly cloth. It is a pretty big cost at the beginning but it does pay off. I do laundry a lot without the cloth diapers so its not a big deal to add them to the list. With 4 boys in my house, my washer is almost constantly running. Boys are gross! I found a way that works for me to wash them and I throw them in the dryer (although I know a lot of people line dry them). I've had the same cloth diapers for him since he's been born and they are still good so its worked for us. They haven't even had any stains till about two weeks ago when we had to get this rash cream that stained them. I'm typically the only one who does laundry but even Zach knows how to wash them. It normally takes anywhere from 4-6 hours of my washing machine's time when we wash them. They are so cute though and the little cloth booty is adorable! 

We have been talking about adoption since we got together. I was adopted and have ALWAYS wanted to adopt a sibling group. This summer we're planning on buying a house then looking into it. I'm SO excited! We both agree on adopting an older child (hopefully somewhere close to Jaidyn's age) and would like to get a sibling group. Either 2 or 3 siblings. We want to help out some kids who a lot of people pass on cause they're older and we want to save them from being split up. We both feel called to this and I can't wait to get it all started. We are also trying to have one more biological child. Zach's bound and determined to get that girl. Getting pregnant while nursing can be more of a challenge so I started taking some stuff that helps you conceive while breastfeeding. We'll see if it works! For now we're just enjoying our three blessings and taking it day by day. This year is going to be crazy fun though and I'm excited to see where it takes us!

Zach's Proposal Song

"I wanna grow old and wrinkly with you
I wanna know that you feel the same way too
Everything we do, I know its true
Gonna grow old and wrinkly with you

I've got a question that's burning deep within
So hard to ask it I'll try to fight and win
Babe yes I know, I know I'm sure
You're the one for me, my cure

I hope you see, 
Know my love for you is real
And I won't lie babe, what I say is what I feel

Now it's time for me to stop singing
And share with you what I am thinking
All joking I set aside
God give me strength, in you I confide" 



Looking back at this, I can picture everything in my head. I kind of knew what was happening when we went on the hike so it was killing me the whole time. Lots of anticipation. He brought his guitar on a hike which was weird and he told me he was writing me a song. I put two and two together and figured it out pretty quick. I remember the waterfall and me trying not to pass out just waiting for him to ask. I didn't even really listen to the words but it was so sweet. Looking back and actually reading the words, its kind of funny how cheesy we were. Now we make fun of that stuff. Lol Our proposal will always have a very special place in my heart though.

The Story of Us

So, I was going to do one of two topics today. Either the story about Zach and I or about my oldest being in preschool since it starts back up today. Our story won. I'm really getting into this blogging thing and I'm trying to hold back from writing to much at once. lol Zach is already making fun of me for how into it I'm getting.

ANYWAY, some people know the story of how we met and all that but others don't. Plus this is to document our life and this story is a very important part of it all.

As some of you know, I was home schooled all the way through. The most I did at a public school was go once a week for classes at TCA. I also did home school classes once to twice a week at a church. That was about it. My life was consumed by choir, voice lessons, piano, and my church's worship team. I was a senior and still in highschool when we met. I did graduate early and he was out of school.

I started working at Mervyns in September 2005 and ended up getting a myspace account. I started talking to about 5 different guys on myspace. I initiated it. I didn't meet anyone until Oct 2005 when I met up with Zach for a mutual friend's play. The only reason I met up with him is because he went to school with a guy I went to India with and it was in a really public setting. Plus his dad was Ted Griffin, a popular radio host on a Christian music station, and I doubted he was lying about his identity. Anyway, I ended up getting lost and talked to him on the phone up to when I pulled up in the school. I don't know if it was love at first sight for me but Zach looked like he was going to have a heart attack. lol He just kept staring at me and smiling. It was weird for me cause I just had a cyst removed from the side of my face and I was really self conscious. I remember the exact outfit I wore. Brand new jeans with brown beads around the pockets, a long brown sweater jacket thing, and a pink/white shirt. He was wearing jeans a hoodie. Typical Zach. He looked like a college guy and I looked like a middle schooler. lol We had a great time at the play and after he asked me to come hang out but I declined.

We emailed a lot after that and got together a few more times. I remember the first time I met his best friend Kyle. We weren't officially dating or anything yet but we met up for lunch and Kyle was there. It was at Happys or something and they kept talking in their "gay talk" to each other. I seriously questioned if he was gay or not for awhile. I love Kyle though and he was part of lots of pre-dates :D Before we even met at the play, when Zach first saw my profile he told Kyle that I was the girl he was going to marry. He was dead set that I was from that day on. I still talked to the other guys too while talking to Zach. Zach worked full time as a manager at Taco Bell and he worked part time at Dominos. I worked full time at another store now so we would try to see each other in between jobs or by visiting each other. We went to the mall one day and he started holding my hand. I flipped out and told him I couldn't see him anymore. I wrote all the guys and told them I was just taking a break from boys for a while. Zach was the only one who responded incredibly nicely and told me he'd still be there for me as a friend.

We didn't talk for several weeks and the end of Dec 2005 we started talking again. Again, I initiated it. January, he came over to my house to meet my parents. He was a huge hit and everyone loved him. I had to get gas for my car so he followed me to the gas station. When we said goodbye he kissed my forehead. Later that night, I sent him a text saying "You missed". He responded asking where we were in our relationship and if I'd be his girlfriend. Before I wrote him back, I asked my sister, parents, and best friend what they thought. They all gave there approval so I told him yes. about a month later, I ended up moving in with his family.

We decided we wanted to get married and decided around September of 2007. March 2006 we found out we were pregnant so we decided to change the wedding date to June. Lots of it was peer pressure. We actually wanted to elope and have a wedding later but were kind of pushed into a wedding.

Funny thing is, Zach didn't even officially propose till May. The proposal was perfect though. He took me on a hike up at Glen Erie with Kyle of course. When we got to a waterfall, he pulled out a guitar, sang me a song he wrote, and asked me to marry him. Obviously, I said yes ;)

Our wedding day was crazy. I tried to run out several times but no one would let me leave. It was a lot of stress and we both believe we rushed it. The nice thing about our relationship is that I can be completely honest and its not like he will be pissed. He knows my feelings on the whole situation and whatever I say is not something he hasn't heard. June 30, 2006 we said our "I dos" and became man and wife. It was not the wedding we wanted but its done and over and we do plan on renewing our vows eventually.

Since then we've had LOTS of ups and downs but somehow we are still truckin'.  We've been through more then most couples will go through in their lifetime. Two miscarriages, us both working full time jobs, moving 3 times in under 9 months, joining the military, basic, tech school, moving overseas, having 3 children and etc. We've stuck by each other though and all of it has brought us closer. Our relationship is no where near perfect but I don't think anyone's is. We don't have to fake our relationship. I love how real we can be with each other and how we don't have to hide anything from each other. The story of us is still being written and I'm excited to see where it will take us next :) To be continued - :D

Matteo's Birth Story - Copied from FB

Matteo's Birth Story born at 40 weeks 3 days -

5:20 Am on Feb 23, 2011 my water broke. Well started breaking. I thought it was a false call so I took a shower and told Zach to kind of wake up but he went back to bed. lol Took a shower and my contractions came on quick. Had contractions every 3-5 min for about an 1 hour before I woke up Zach again and told him it was go time and he needed to call people. I went downstairs and did the dishes and picked up toys while Zach took a shower. More of my water broke and we started to head for the hospital. Dropped the boys off at Katie's (Thank you sooooooooooo frickin much Katie!) and went to the hospital. It was about 8 am when we got there and my water kept breaking in bigger gushes. They gave me this thing to check if it was my water and it definitely was. They told me the name of the dr who would come check me out and I was PISSED. It was Dr. Aarfa and I had a horrible delivery with him when I had Ryker. I was about to ask for another dr but he came in and was super nice so I decided to give him a second shot. I was dilated at a 3 cm and they admitted me. Got hooked up to the Iv thing and just chilled in the room. I wimped out and got the epidural at 1pm. The guy had a trainee watching him do it and he did it twice. The anesthesiologist was awesome but he didn't tell me what was happening as he did the epidural. I was contracting and he put the needle in all the way, just to take it out and put in a whole new needle that was longer. Hurt like CRAZY but once it was in and running, I was in heaven. They checked me at 3 and I was 7 cm and 0 station. I was sooo happy cause I didn't dilate half that fast with the other two. I started feeling like I needed to push around 4 but I didn't want to actually push so I didn't tell anyone. lol The nurse came in at about 5 and I told him the pushing thing was getting stronger. He checked me and Matteo was about 2 in from coming out. He left for a few min, came back and had me do a trail push. Baby moved even lower so he ran to get the dr. He came back with another nurse and they told me to do another trial push. I pushed for about 6 min and his head came out. They made me sit there with his head half way out so they could grab the doctor. Aarfa came in and I pushed once and he was born. Easiest labor ever. Started at 5:20 am and I had him at 5:19 pm. He got a freakin TEN on the APGAR :D Absolutely perfect. I started nursing him about an hour after labor cause it was freezing and I couldn't stop shaking. So far, breastfeeding is a success and he is an angel. Definitely a good baby. He barely cries and when he does, it only lasts about a min. He has sucked his thumb and he does really well with the pacifier. We try not to give it to him to much though. Every dr/nurse who would come into our room would comment how good he was. I'm soo happy not to be pregnant and I'm already in love :) We got out of the hospital at about 7:30pm on the 24th. They got us out of there fast. He had an apt today and no jaundice or anything. Ryker calls him the "little baby" or "Tayo" and Jaidyn is still pretty sick so he's not to aware of it yet. So far, so good. Thanks so much for all the congrats! I'm still kind of out of it so if you want to see him, just let us know a head of time.

Rykers Birth Story - Again, copied from my myspace

For me personally, I love hearing other people's birth stories so I figure I would write mine out. At least for me :) Feel free to ask any questions if you have any. I know this pregnancy thing can be crazy..

- My LMP was March 7, 2008
- I found out I was pregnant at the end of April 2008 due Dec.12
- In around June/July found out it was a boy and that I had pregnancy  pre-hypertension.
- October we had a 3D ultrasound done and found out it was a girl at 32 weeks. We went back the same week and the confirmed it was a girl again.
- November I had a routine ultrasound done and they confirmed it was a boy again.
- November I went in for another appointment and the doctor did an ultrasound and said it was a boy. (about 35/36 weeks)
- November appointment we set up for me to be induced on December 5(39 weeks on the dot) because the were worried things would get bad if I continued the pregnancy with pre-hypertension(even though my blood pressure was fine and I hadn't had signs of pre-hypertension since June...) and because I had gotten pre-eclampsia with Jaidyn.
- December 5th I go in to be induced at about 12pm and they say I shouldn't even be getting induced.
Ok, now mind you, I had seen just about a different doctor every time I went in and they all said something different. I had seen the one who diagnosed me with pre-hypertension several times so I listened to her. She was not at the hospital when I went in and the lady who said I shouldn't be there was a midwife so I was a little skeptical. I went in to a different doctor the week before and he said that I should still be induced just to be safe(of course he thought I had pre-hypertension). The whole pre-hypertension was due to faulty equipment on there part. I had my blood pressure tested by the machine(which made it higher then it was) and by hand(which was fine). Anywho, she talked to another doctor and they said I could be induced but I didn't have to be. I had planned on being induced, Zach took work off, and Jaidyn's was at a friend's house so this was all kind of pissing me off. I thought that something was there that wasn't and they shouldn't have messed with my mind. I went with my original doctor's opinion and decided to be induced. I was 39 weeks so I wasn't really putting me or the baby at risk and I wanted to be safe rather then sorry.
So, we came back at 7 pm that day and they got me in a room and put an IV in(which after I had the baby, moved into the wrong vain and made my hand blow up like a balloon..). I was already 1 cm dilated but not effaced so they started me a Cervidil. They checked me at 12pm and since nothing changed they put in a balloon catheter to help me dilate quicker. That thing was a pain but after it fell out I was 3-4 cm dilated and more effaced. After that they broke my water and put me on Pitocin. That didn't help much and by noon on the 6th I was still not much more dilated. I had now been through 2-3 different doctors and a bunch of nurses. At about 3pm they decided to put in an internal monitor to see how my contractions were. I wasn't happy about that at all and I asked them to take it out about an hour after they put it in. I could feel the baby playing with it and it hurt like heck. By this time I was pissed off that I had been in labor for almost 24 hours and nothing was happening. They weren't listening to me and the doctor wouldn't even come talk to me about taking it out. He had nurses come tell me that he wouldn't. I had gotten the epidural done a few hours earlier and it started wearing off about this time so the guy came back and gave me an extra dosage. The doctor came in to check and tell me who the new doctor on call was (a family practice doctor...not even an OBGYN!). I was at about 7-8 cm and he told me it would be soon. This is about 5:30. A few minutes after he checked me I had a huge urge to push so I had Zach go get the nurse. He check me and I guess I dilated allot more but I wasn't thinned out enough for the baby to be able to fit through. They told me to wait it out but I kept feeling like I had to push so they told me to try it. I did but nothing happened so they tried to push the cervix out of the way so they could get the head through better. That didn't work either so they told me to still wait it out. I am about ready to kill someone by now. I have had so many people shoving things up places they don't need to be and I am hurting like none other. I swear the epidural only made my stomach and my legs numb cause I could feel EVERYTHING. So, I tried not to push but ended up pushing anyways with the nurse. Now, I had Zach, a guy nurse, and a guy doctor. The doctor didn't even come in until about 2 hours after pushing when the baby's head started to pop out. I was so upset that the doctor wasn't there throughout the pushing because Jaidyn's doctor didn't make it there in time. Needless to say I wasn't at all happy with any of the doctors but he's here. The doctor announced it was a boy and we were thrilled! Ryker Frank Griffin was born at 7:35 pm on December 6th, 2008. He was wide awake and scored a 9 on the APGAR test(which is perfect). He weighed 6pounds 12 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. He was perfect and even shocked the pediatrician with how alert he was. I am definitely waiting till we get back to the states for another one. I've got two beautiful boys and its going to stay that way for a while..or so we hope ;)

Jaidyn's Birth Story

This was copied from my myspace. I wrote it a long time ago but here it is. Jaidyn's birth story :)

I love pregnancy stories and now i finally have one!! so, you don't have to read it but it's so i don't forget lol

Friday may 25th i went in for three different doctor's appointments. at 11 was my ultrasound, 12:30 was an NST (where they monitor the baby for a half an hour), and at 1:15 was my doctor's appointment. zach's dad had to take me and drop me off cause zach had the car. the ultrasound was fine and then i had to wait an eternity for the next appointment. the nst went well and then they had me wait a while longer before my doctor's appointment. for my doctor's appointment the nurse checked my blood pressure and it was really high(it hadn't been high throughout the other part of the pregnancy) and i had high levels of protein. the nurse said i would probably be having my baby that weekend. I had to wait for the doctor to come back to tell me what was going on cause he was at a c-section. so i sat there for another hour or so trying to stay calm for my blood pressure but wondering what the heck was going on. i called zach and told him he'd probably need to pick me up. lol the doctor finally came and said i needed to go straight to the hospital. all the while they are telling me to stay calm..right!! i get to the hospital and they do a 24 hour test to watch the protein levels. the higher it gets the worse it is for me and the baby. they also checked my blood pressure every two hours. whohoo. fun stuff. i had my blood drawn every so often and so i got no sleep the first night. the doctor came in the next day around 4 PM and said i would probably get to go home that day only to come back two minutes later and tell me she thought i was someone else. i was staying there until he was delivered.  they did another 12 hour test and my protein levels went up even higher so they decided to induce me. monday at about 10 they gave me a pill to induce me. four hours later i wasn't dilated at all. they did another one and four hours later i was about 1 cent. 4 hours later nothing changed so they put me on an iv with magnesium to help lower my blood pressure and pitocin for the inducement. i was so tired monday night that i got an epiderel so i could sleep. zach about passed out when they did it but it really wasn't that bad. my water broke on its own that night. tuesday morning at about 10am i was 3 cent. so they said they'd wait a while longer but we'd probably need a c-section cause mine and the baby's blood pressure was now to low and he wasn't handling everything well. i took a nap and they woke me up to check again at 12. i was 10 cent. and had him 29 minutes later.they messed things up with my doctor though and he only delivered the placenta. another doctor delivered the baby cause he came so fast. it was an experience alright. i was in the hospital 4 days after and he was in it for 10 days. he was 4lbs. 12 ozs and 18 1/2 inches long. brown hair. blue eyes. he's definitely a fighter though. so...that's my story. now baby's crying and i am needed. cio!