Febuary 2012

Life has been crazy. I thought I'd be better at this but I forgot I had three kids...LOL

Jaidyn starts baseball on Wednesday and Zach's going to be the assistant coach. I'm so excited for him! Jaidyn is soooo excited about it and I can't wait to watch! Zach also joined the baseball team for himself. Life just keeps getting more and more busy!

I love getting the one on one with Ryker while Jaidyn is at school. Matteo normally takes a nap so I'll just play cars or legos with him. Even just sitting down and watching a movie with him makes his day. My biggest goal is to make sure each kid gets one on one and doesn't get left out. It can get hard with three kids but somehow, we figure it out.

Matteo had his 1st birthday and first haircut. Life is flying by! I can't believe my baby is ONE now! He is such a sweetheart and this year has been amazing.

We're still trying for a baby and its getting frustrating. It doesn't help when people ask if we're pregnant yet or what's taking so long. Our other kids were conceived within 4 months at the longest. We've been trying since September..Nursing seriously is the best birth control. We're almost done weaning so hopefully that will help. I'm dying for a baby girl! I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for the world but it feels like a piece is missing. It will happen when its happens but it is a hard road waiting. Right now I'm trying to focus on my other three babies and enjoy them before I blink and we're at their college graduation.

We've decided to just make Texas our home. We're planning on buying a house in August once our lease is up and staying in San Angelo. Its weird because in Okinawa, we were dying to come home to Colorado. Colorado really isn't our home anymore though. We're both ready for a new start and to settle down. San Angelo is no Colorado but right now it's our home. By being in the military, the saying "Home is where the heart is" really comes into play. As long as I have my boys, I'm home.

Crock Pot Recipe

So, I am a BIG fan of the crock pot. It's a wonderful invention for busy moms :D Today was my make-shift invention. I just grab whatever I have in the cupboard and make it work. This actually turned out really well! I got a thumbs up from the boys so I thought I'd share.

I used -
2 cans of chicken breast
3 cans cream of mushroom soup
about a cup of shredded cheese
dash of onion powder
dash of garlic salt (I never measure..)
1 box of Zataran's Spanish rice
bag of Doritos
can of corn

I put in the uncooked Spanish rice. Poured two cans of cream of mushroom soup on top and put some garlic salt and onion powder in. Added the chicken. Crushed up some Doritos and sprinkled on top. put the other can of cream of mushroom in. added the corn and cheese. sprinkled more Doritos on top. Cook on low for about 5 hours. I left it in for 5 hours then switched it to warm for 2 hours. You need to make sure you stir in the corn or it will burn. Before served, crush up some more Doritos and put on top. SOOO yummy!

And this is what happens when you use a variety of recipes and whatever you have in your pantry :)

adoption

Some of you know, my sister and I are both adopted. We were adopted as infants and both have different biological parents. We both always knew we were adopted and there was never any confusion about it.

My birth mom(who was also adopted) was  about 16 when she had me. Her father was military and he was stationed in Korea when she met a guy and ended up getting pregnant. From what I know, he was with her and another girl. I guess the other girl got pregnant and he kind of forced her to have an abortion. After she did, he said he loved her and wanted to be with her...Bla bla bla. My mom didn't tell him she was pregnant and moved in with her mom in Utah to have me. She was tossed from family to family and didn't have a lot of support. She realized she couldn't keep me and gave me up for adoption. The first couple of years she kept in contact with my parents but over time it stopped.

If you saw me and my sister growing up, you'd never know we weren't biologically related. Everyone always told us we looked like twins. We always thought that was pretty cool how it worked out.

Amy and I

I was always curious about the whole adoption thing. I was constantly bugging my mom to adopt more kids and for more info on my background. My sister was opposite and didn't want to know. I knew I was adopted but I wasn't able to find out a lot of the details till I was 18. My parents were afraid I'd run off to her and ditch them. Understandable but I really just wanted to know. Its weird not knowing your background or where you came from. Its still hard. Although I do know my birth mom now, I don't have any clue about my dad and she was adopted too so it kind of ends after her.

I met my birth mom in 2006. I wrote her and it took me awhile to answer the phone when she started calling me. You put stories together in your head and try to fit the puzzle together yourself. When you finally get answers, fantasy becomes reality and everything you thought is now on trial. It was hard for me to understand why she gave me up. About a year after she had me, she got pregnant again and ended up keeping that baby. I'd learn later about how that baby ended up living with her boyfriend's crazy mom but it was still hard. Why did she give me up and keep Tasha?

I have 3 sisters. Amy, my adopted sister. Tasha, my half birth sister (I am yet to meet her). And Melody, my half birth sister. I have a relationship with Amy and Melody but I'm not sure if I'll ever get to meet Tasha.

Melody and I

One of the only pics I have of Tasha

Now that I have my own kids, I couldn't imagine being 16 and having a baby. Or even 17. I had Jaidyn at 19 and that was still nuts. I admire her for choosing adoption. That had to have been hard. You carry a baby for 9 months and walk out of the hospital empty handed. I can't even imagine the strength that took. Or even from my parents perspective. They couldn't have children of their own so they chose adoption. Raising someone's kid as your own has got to be challenging too. Both are heroes in my point of view. Both gave me a good life and both made sacrifices. I could have been aborted easily but she chose to give me life. I will forever be thankful and I hope we can adopt one day too.

Me, my birth mom, and my birth dad.

Bad Day

It's 10 am and this has been my morning so far...

Woke up to jaidyn and ryker screaming (not in the "I'm hurt" way but in the "annoying little kid" way), took a shower while they watched tv (not really watching it, more like dumping out drawers of stuff), baby joined me, got out got them dressed and came downstairs to find the dog crapped in her kennel, cleaned that and then cleaned up the cereal the kids dumped everywhere, found out the internet wasn't working and tried to reset it(still not working), lost and found my phone, switched from Netflix to the cable and it said the card wasn't in it, reset the cable (got it to work), the baby opened the Xbox and pushed down the cd thing so now the door won't close, tried to fix that unsuccessfully, baby preceded to dump more cereal and play in it, Jaidyn left the gate open so now the baby is upstairs and Ryker is naked, going upstairs to get the baby I find that the boys sprayed their drink all over, the boys keep getting into stuff, the baby keeps snapping my necklace in my face, Matteo is teething/has a rash/cold so you can imagine how fun he is (crying over everything!), no one is listening to me, I have to get them re-dressed and ready for school, and now I am trying to take a step back and breathe for a sec.

Yesterday someone posted a quote that read, "it's a bad day, not a bad life". Definitely needed to hear that. Even when things get crazy, it's not that bad. It's going to pass and you'll be ok. Or even like the song "bad day". "take a step down just to turn it around". Take a step back, reevaluate the situation, and breathe.

Keeping It Real

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say that you can't have a life once you have kids. Or you won't have a sex life. I already asked Zach for permission on this one so its going to be fun.

You'll Lose Your Friends - 
I have friends with kids and friends without. I also have friends who are and aren't married. Proof you can have friends in different lifestyles. Just because you have kids doesn't mean your friendships should end. It makes it a little bit more complicated but if you're really friends, you'll figure it out. They'll be understanding when you can't make it cause the baby is sick and you'll understand when they already made plans with someone else.

I had Jaidyn at 19. I had just got out of high school, married my husband, and had a baby before 20. Its hard when you have to miss out on the late night partying and being carefree but I had several friends who stuck around and had my back. They would come over and hang out or go to the mall with me and my baby. They also didn't treat me any differently. We're still friends and I don't think that will ever change.

You Never Get Out of the House -
We still get out of the house. When Jaidyn was a baby, I took him EVERYWHERE. It was awesome though cause he got used to sleeping wherever and he was one of my easiest babies. I wasn't afraid to be loud around him and we didn't walk on our tiptoes when he was sleeping. It was so nice being able to go to movies, dinner, bowling, and whatever else with other people. It got us out of the house and made me feel like a person still. Not someone who was chained to the house because I had a kid.We still do that with 3 kids. We will go walk around Walmart for the heck of it. Or even just go to the Mall and window shop. We can take all of our kids to restaurants and movies. We do get out of the house and its not just to do what the kids want. Another proof that kids don't always change everything.

You Can't Drink -
You have kids, so you can't drink...I laugh in your face! Seriously. I do not get drunk but I do drink. My husband drinks too. We're just more responsible about it. If one person wants to get a little tipsy, the other won't drink or will just have a little bit. I'm 25. I deserve to be able to drink too. We may not do the club scene, but we still get to have a good time.

No Sex Life -
Now the fun topic. A lot of people will tell you their sex life's diminish after having kids. Maybe so for some people but not every one. Zach and I have sex at least once a day. Every day. If its during the day and we're horny, we'll just make the kids play in the playroom for a bit. We actually have a very kinky sex life. We make it work and the kids don't hinder it. And again, obviously, we have 3 kids.

The point is that they don't stop your life. Kids are not some evil creature that come and destroy your social life..Your priorities change but it doesn't change everything. Just because you have kids does not mean they will destroy your marriage. I think they've brought us closer. For those who are scared having kids are going to mess up everything, its probably not half as bad as you think ;)

SuperGirl

I've always been the type of girl who LOVES doing everything. I also love helping people out. My main purpose in life is to take care of others. I've been doing it since the day I was born. Whenever my family would get sick, I would completely baby them and play nursemaid. Bring the wet wash cloth, puke bucket, soup...Whatever was needed. I started babysitting as soon as I could. I've always had that "mom-like" attitude and I would always be the mom whenever we played house. That's just who I am.

There is a down point to that. It gets tiring! I would like to be taken care of too! I've always had to be the strong one. I can't be sick cause I have to take care of everyone else. My thoughts, feelings, whatever have to be set aside so I can continue to be the caretaker. Even before I was a mom its been like that. I'm not trying to be selfish and say it needs to all be about me, but I think we do tend to forget about the people like that. The ones who are constantly giving and appear insanely strong. I have several friends like that as well and its hard to get them to break. To be open and honest about how they really are. Its hard to let your guard down! We're the ones who have to be strong for the ones who can't.

I'm getting really run down living like this. For me, I always hold everything in until it bubbles over and I explode. I can act strong for several weeks and then I break. Normally that just means sitting in the shower and talking myself down. Yes, I talk to myself in the shower...Moving on. Or I've found a new stress release is video games. Ok, now I'm a nerd. Wow, ok. My point is, even the strongest people have breaking points. This weekend was mine. Everyone getting sick and lack of sleep equals an extremely crazed Ashley. Taking care of three/four boys and being sick makes it even harder. Luckily I get over colds pretty fast so I'm not to worried. BUT it would be nice if me and my husband could reverse rolls for a day. I want to be taken care of. I want him to make me tea. I want him to rub my head and ask how he can help.

Who helps out superman? spiderman? Who's got their backs? Granted, they are storybook tales but still. Everyone needs someone to help when life gets a little tough. Not one person can carry the world. I would LOVE to try but its not going to happen.

This may sound bad but I love seeing when other people write posts about how something didn't go as planned. It is so easy to just write online and say how wonderful life is but its nice when someone is a little more honest. Maybe life is great one day, but it's nice when another mom says their tired of dealing with their kids. Or that "today has just been one of those days". It's so easy to get wrapped up in a fantasy that its hard to see reality. No one is perfect, everyone has flaws, and people do break. So much of the online scene has become more about a show. "My life is SOO perfect, my husband is the best, my children are angels, I love being a stay at home mom, and my house is spotless". Seriously makes me want to puke. My house is no where near spotless and the second it is, the kids destroy it. I have no clue how people have constantly clean houses. My husband drives me up the wall and I'm currently writing this so I don't say anything I'll regret to him. lol The only child who is on my good side right now is Matteo and he still doesn't sleep through the night. I miss working like crazy. I miss the adult interaction and the break from the kids. I LOVE my family. I can not stress that enough but this is honest. This is what I'm talking about. Everything has gotten so fake it's ridiculous. Zach calls these people the "chameleons". Constantly changing to what people want to hear/see. Its all about putting on a show and making your life LOOK better then theirs.


Its about time we start being real. Next time you feel like breaking, tell someone! Ask for help! Stop living in the "I have to be perfect 24.7" spotlight. You do it and I'll try to too :)

The Start of our Military Adventure

Zach's been in the military for 4 years. We've been married for almost 6 so I went through the whole process with him. He went to basic in Nov 2007. Some of the hardest months of my life. He was suppose to leave a few months later but a job came up and he took it. They gave him 24 hour notice. Talk about tough! I was kind of in shock that he took it but tried to be supportive anyway. He left me with a 6 month old baby and we had a lot of financial issues he didn't take care of. I ended up getting two jobs while he was gone and worked from 7am - 10pm most days. My parents helped out a lot with Jaidyn. I never want to go through that again and thankfully we are past basic/tech school. Zach missed Jaidyn's first Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Jaidyn and Aunt Arlene

Jaidyn's First Christmas 2007

Basic was 6 weeks. We got through that and my BF Arlene went to Tx with me for his graduation. I only got to see him a few days before he went to tech-school. That was from Jan 2008-April 2008. He called me and told me we got orders to Kadena Afb in Okinawa, Japan. I thought he was lying but nope. He put that first on his dream sheet (list of places you'd prefer to go but rarely get). You can only guess how much fun it was for me to tell everyone. No one believed me but it was very true. I ended up moving down to Missouri with a baby, cat, and dog in February and stayed in a nursing home off base while he finished up tech-school. Long story there. Anyway, we ended up getting pregnant with Ryker in Missouri and then came back to Colorado before we went to Japan.

Basic Graduation

Being new to the military and having an overseas location as your first base was very interesting. Not to mention I was pregnant when we flew the 24+ hours to get there and got pretty sick. Plus Jaidyn was crawling and it was hard to keep him happy in a plane that long. Luckily he was a good baby and the flight attendant even walked around with him for a bit.

Welcome to Okinawa. Huge culture shock. We got there late, I had gotten maybe a half our of sleep the whole plane ride, and it all just seemed like a documentary on TV. The first couple of weeks consisted of finding a car, getting new driver's licenses, house, and getting Zach settled at work.

I have a love/hate relationship with Okinawa. The island is magical and gorgeous. The town is very vibrant and colorful. Its like going to a resort but even resorts make you miss home. That was not a good base for our first one. I think everything was over exaggerated since we were far from. Lots of people had the "I'm better then everyone cause I'm an American" attitude and it wasn't just towards the Okinawans. Not every one was horrible but there was a lot of excess drama. To many bored wives, pissed off that they were away from the States, and doing everything to cause more drama and make other peoples life's harder. The military side of it was harder too. Lots of extra exercises and higher security since being overseas. There were even some protests against the base but never anything really violent. Kind of scary though.


We never made it back to Colorado the whole time we were stationed there. Zach had a TDY and ended up going to the States but he wasn't able to go home either. I missed my sister's graduation, my best friend's wedding, and several family members and friend's deaths. It was really hard not being able to make it home. It does draw you closer to your family. You have to be ok with it just being you, your husband, and your children.


I did have some really good friends there. We would have play dates, go to the zoo, go to the off base mall, random outings, and go to Cocok's(nail salon) for our toes. Best place ever! You get to be with your friends, get your nails done, and have a gorgeous view of the ocean. I miss my girls. You never know though, we may end up getting stationed together again sometime. :)

We found out in 2011 that we'd be moving to Canon AFB, New Mexico. About a week later, it changed to Goodfellow AFB, TX. We got here in July 2011. So far, its been alright. We don't like our housing arrangement but the people are awesome and its a nice little town. The one thing that makes it hard is that we're 8 hours away from our families (not half as bad as okinawa so I can't complain to much) and that its a training base. You make friends and then they leave. There are more students here then permanent party and its kind of hard to get close to anyone.

We are going to try for a B.O.P. (base of preference) in March. Hoping to go back to Colorado! Zach is also looking into being a recruiter and then we'd move back to Colorado for that. We both really want to get back home and hopefully it will happen. If it does, we'd be back August/September time frame of this year. Hopefully. :)

Zach tests for Staff again this year in May. We're really hoping he gets it. He definitely deserves it!

Through it all, I've learned a lot about the military. Some stuff I wish I didn't know. I've learned 1000 and 1 acronyms, that you need to take it day by day, to be careful who you trust, that our life is controlled by the military, that you have to be ok raising the kids by yourself, how important a support system is, and that at any moment life can be taken away. Being a military wife has definitely made me a new person. I am a lot stronger then I have ever been and I've grown up a lot.