Divorce

Since rumors spread, let me start by saying zach and I are NOT getting a divorce. I think this last year has brought us together more then ever and we are probably closer then we've ever been.

That being said, I know a lot of couples who are getting a divorce right now. A lot!! Most of them got married after us and divorced a year or two later. I'm not judging! you do what you gotta do. I just think its sad. Where is the point you get to when you stop trying? Where does the love go? Was it ever love or all infatuation?

We have talked about divorce. We are not perfect by any means and I think lots of couples end up questioning their relationship. Seeing our friends going through this and having to pick sides makes you question it even more.

Zach and I got married young and not necessarily for the right reasons. I think the only reason we survived all the twists and turns of our life was because we took different advice to heart. Well and Zach's more dedicated then a dog ;)

Some advice we got that has held us together -

1) communication is key. We talk a lot! In Okinawa, we'd go on our back porch and talk about random crap for hours. If you're upset, don't expect the other person to read minds! Here, we play video games and talk :D

2) compromise. Plain and simple. It's a two way street. You can't expect one person to do all the work. You have to give some to get some.

3) space. We each need time to ourselves. Whether its going to a movie alone or going golfing, just something for us to get some time to ourselves.

4) date night. With kids, it is extremely important to make sure your spouse still gets attention. One on one date nights definitely help. You chose each other long before the kids, make sure you keep that connection.

5) we don't do best friends of the same sex or exes. It's preference but in my opinion, until you can fully give up your exes, you can't move on with your relationship. Your husband is supposed to be your best friend. When another guy takes your husbands spot, you are putting yourself in a compromising situation. Not only are you pushing yourself away from your husband, but you're also getting an emotional connection to another man. I have guy friends and zach has girl friends but it's more of an acquaintance and we'd never hang out with another guy/girl by ourselves.

6) commitment. We made a commitment to each other. An oath. That shouldn't be taken lightly. We said for better or worse. Sometimes you have to get through a pretty tough "worse" to get to the "better". There typically is a light at the end of the tunnel if you continue to press on.

7) try to keep the flirting going. Zach and I are big on water wars or just messing with each other. It keeps things light and reminds me why I love him. 6 years later and we can still have fun together.

8) marriage or separate counseling. All else fails or even if you just want to improve you're marriage, try counseling. It's not a bad thing and it proves you are willing to try.

9) fighting isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes arguing is good. It helps you each keep your own opinions and it's healthy. Fight fair though. If it gets out of hand, take a break or walk away till you can regain yourself. Zach and I have a weird way of play fighting. It's kind of our way of flirting.

The things I do not agree with in any marriage is violence or controlling the other spouse. If you're being abused, there is always away out no matter what he says. Not to mention, it's not a failure or your fault.

Anyway, that was my rant/ramble for the day. :)