SuperGirl

I've always been the type of girl who LOVES doing everything. I also love helping people out. My main purpose in life is to take care of others. I've been doing it since the day I was born. Whenever my family would get sick, I would completely baby them and play nursemaid. Bring the wet wash cloth, puke bucket, soup...Whatever was needed. I started babysitting as soon as I could. I've always had that "mom-like" attitude and I would always be the mom whenever we played house. That's just who I am.

There is a down point to that. It gets tiring! I would like to be taken care of too! I've always had to be the strong one. I can't be sick cause I have to take care of everyone else. My thoughts, feelings, whatever have to be set aside so I can continue to be the caretaker. Even before I was a mom its been like that. I'm not trying to be selfish and say it needs to all be about me, but I think we do tend to forget about the people like that. The ones who are constantly giving and appear insanely strong. I have several friends like that as well and its hard to get them to break. To be open and honest about how they really are. Its hard to let your guard down! We're the ones who have to be strong for the ones who can't.

I'm getting really run down living like this. For me, I always hold everything in until it bubbles over and I explode. I can act strong for several weeks and then I break. Normally that just means sitting in the shower and talking myself down. Yes, I talk to myself in the shower...Moving on. Or I've found a new stress release is video games. Ok, now I'm a nerd. Wow, ok. My point is, even the strongest people have breaking points. This weekend was mine. Everyone getting sick and lack of sleep equals an extremely crazed Ashley. Taking care of three/four boys and being sick makes it even harder. Luckily I get over colds pretty fast so I'm not to worried. BUT it would be nice if me and my husband could reverse rolls for a day. I want to be taken care of. I want him to make me tea. I want him to rub my head and ask how he can help.

Who helps out superman? spiderman? Who's got their backs? Granted, they are storybook tales but still. Everyone needs someone to help when life gets a little tough. Not one person can carry the world. I would LOVE to try but its not going to happen.

This may sound bad but I love seeing when other people write posts about how something didn't go as planned. It is so easy to just write online and say how wonderful life is but its nice when someone is a little more honest. Maybe life is great one day, but it's nice when another mom says their tired of dealing with their kids. Or that "today has just been one of those days". It's so easy to get wrapped up in a fantasy that its hard to see reality. No one is perfect, everyone has flaws, and people do break. So much of the online scene has become more about a show. "My life is SOO perfect, my husband is the best, my children are angels, I love being a stay at home mom, and my house is spotless". Seriously makes me want to puke. My house is no where near spotless and the second it is, the kids destroy it. I have no clue how people have constantly clean houses. My husband drives me up the wall and I'm currently writing this so I don't say anything I'll regret to him. lol The only child who is on my good side right now is Matteo and he still doesn't sleep through the night. I miss working like crazy. I miss the adult interaction and the break from the kids. I LOVE my family. I can not stress that enough but this is honest. This is what I'm talking about. Everything has gotten so fake it's ridiculous. Zach calls these people the "chameleons". Constantly changing to what people want to hear/see. Its all about putting on a show and making your life LOOK better then theirs.


Its about time we start being real. Next time you feel like breaking, tell someone! Ask for help! Stop living in the "I have to be perfect 24.7" spotlight. You do it and I'll try to too :)